Written by Gradly in Funny, Jokes, Stories
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of Pepsi they lay down in their tent for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake.
- “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
- Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”
- “What does that tell you?” Holmes questioned.
- Watson pondered for a minute then he said:
- “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
- Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
- Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
- Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
- Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
- What does it tell you?”
Holmes was silent for a minute, and then spoke. “Watson, you idiot !!!!. It tells that someone has stolen our tent.“
Popularity: 2%
Written by Gradly in Funny, Jokes
01) SAY -DING at each floor.
02) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
03) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.
04) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
05) MEOW occasionally.
06) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re one of THEM” - and back away slowly
07) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”
08) SAY “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the red buttons.
09) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have new socks on.”
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal space.”
14) WHEN there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say “Hi Greg, How’s your day been?”
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: “That’s mine!”
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don’t exist.
22) CALL out “Group hug” then enforce it.
23) As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting ”Down! I said down, dmmit”
Popularity: 2%
Written by Gradly in Misc.
10. The Aztecs drunk it
Chocolate was originally a cold drink whisked from cocoa beans by the Aztecs - and women were not allowed to drink it.
9. It was more valuable than gold
When Cortes conquered the Aztecs in 1520, he found that cocoa beans were prized higher than gold.
8. It was named in the 17th century
The word ‘chocolate’ was first recorded in English use in 1604.
7. It helped found the British Museum
The British Museum owes its very existence to chocolate. It was based on the personal collection of Hans Soane, who invented milk chocolate.
6. Chocolate bar an English invention
The bar of chocolate was invented by JS Fry and Sons of Bristol in 1847.
5. Expensive egg
Last year’s most expensive chocolate egg was encrusted with more than 100 diamonds and made for La Maison du Chocolat with a ?0,000 prize tag.
4. Royal approval
On New Year’s Day 1900, Queen Victoria sent 100,000 boxes of chocolates as a personal gift to soldiers fighting in the Boer War.
3. Brits can’t get enough of it
The average person living in the UK - man, woman or child - spends over ? a week on chocolate.
2. The King loved it!
The last food Elvis Presley ate comprised four scoops of ice cream and six chocolate chip cookies.
1. Egg-cellent selection
Woolworths is this year selling 170 varieties of chocolate Easter egg.
Popularity: 2%
