My Daily Postings . . My Daily Experience
Archive for July, 2007
WHY …? WHY …? WHY …?
Jul 25th
- Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
- Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
- Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?
- Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest,but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
- Are there specially reserved parking spaces for “normal” people at the Special Olympics?
- If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
- If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
- If it’s true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?
- Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
- If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?
- Can you cry under water?
- If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases ?
- Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up, like, every two hours?
- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
- Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?
Popularity: 3% [?]
(No Ratings Yet)Poem Highlights: The Friend Who Stands By
Jul 25th
When troubles come your soul to try
You love the friend who just stands by.
Perhaps there’s nothing he or she can do
The thing is strictly up to you.
For there are troubles all your own
And paths the soul must tread alone.
Times when love can’t smooth the road
Nor friendship lift the heavy load.
But just to feel you have a friend
Who will stand by until the end.
Whose sympathy through all endures
Whose warm handclasp is always yours.
It helps somehow to pull you through
Although there’s nothing he or she can do.
And so with fervent heart we cry…
God Bless the friend who just stands by.
Popularity: 2% [?]
(No Ratings Yet)jokes X jokes II
Jul 24th
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A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee …
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: “Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!”
The voice from the other side responded: “You fool; you’ve dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to?”
“No” replied the trainee.
“It’s the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!”
The trainee shouted back: “And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?”
“No!” replied the Managing Director angrily.
“Thank God!” replied the trainee and put down the Phone.
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In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and asked; “Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’re a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs.. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”
She again replied, “Why, yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He’s lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes I know him.”
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said: “If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you to the electric chair.”
Popularity: 1% [?]
(No Ratings Yet)Never Go To HR For a Salary Increase
Jul 24th
After 3 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying: My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
- Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
- Man:- 365 days and some times 366
- Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
- Man:- 24 hours
- Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
- Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
- Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
- Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3 (one third)
- Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
- Man:- 122 (1/3×366 = 122 in days)
- Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
- Man:- No sir
- Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
- Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
- Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
- Man:- 18 days.
- Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
- Man:- 4 days
- Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
- Man:- No sir!
- Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
- Man:- No sir!
- Manager:- So how many days are left?
- Man:- 2 days sir!
- Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday)?
- Man:- No sir!
- Manager:- So how many days are left?
- Man:- 1 day sir!
- Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
- Man:- No sir!
- Manager:- So how many days are left?
- Man:- None sir!
- Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
- Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realize that I was stealing Company money all these days.
Popularity: 3% [?]
(No Ratings Yet)Numbers & Alphabets: Do You Know that …
Jul 23rd
Do You Know that:
- Letters a, b, c & d do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99
(Letter “d” comes for the first time in Hundred). - Letters a, b & c do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999
(Letter “a” comes for the first time in Thousand). - Letters b & c do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999
(Letter “b” comes for the first time in Billion). - Letter c does not appear anywhere in the spellings of entire English Counting.
Popularity: 1% [?]
(No Ratings Yet)
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