Archive for October, 2007

A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company.
It was always his dream to own his own business, so he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them. The last question of the interview was always the same.
“Do you notice anything unusual about me?” he asked the first candidate.
“Yes. You have no ears.”
He quickly eliminated the first candidate.
“Do you notice anything unusual about me?” he asked the second candidate.
“Yes. You have no ears.”
He quickly eliminated the second candidate.
“Do you notice anything unusual about me?” he asked the third candidate.
“Yes. You’re wearing contacts.”
Thinking he had found the man for the job he said, “That’s correct. How did you know?”
“You can’t wear glasses if you don’t have any freakin’ ears.”
Three contractors . . . One from India, another from Germany and the third from England are bidding to repair the White House fence. A senior White House official takes them to examine it.
The English contractor : takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works on some figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says. “I figure the job will cost $900 . . . $400 for materials, $400 for labour and $100 profit for me.”
The German contractor : also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700 . . . $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”
The Indian contractor doesn’t measure or do any figuring, but leans over to the White House official and whispers: “$2,700.”
The official incredulously says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”
“Easy,” the Indian explains, “$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we hire the guy from Germany to do the work!”

Popularity: 3% [?]

Story Corner: Cup or Coffee !!

4 years ago

by Gradly in Stories

The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect.”

A group of graduates, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor.

Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee, the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the simple and cheap ones.
While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.
Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee.
In most cases, it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.
What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you
Consciously went for the best cups… Then you began eyeing each other’s cups.

Now consider this:
- Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups.
- They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live.
- Sometimes, by concentrating on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us. Enjoy your coffee!.”

The happiest people don’t have the best of everything.
They just make the best of everything.”

1. Live simply.
2. Love generously.
3. Care deeply.
4. Speak kindly.
5. Leave the rest to God.

The moral of this story:

Your life either shines a light OR casts a shadow!
Shine a light & Enjoy the Coffee!!!

Popularity: 2% [?]

Words of Wisdom and Observations on Life

4 years ago

by Gradly in Humor

Men and women will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans.
A person is as big as the things that make him angry.
In every organization there will be one person who knows what is going on – this person must be fired.
Everything depends.
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap than a thin person.
Remember, pain is nature’s way of reminding you who’s in charge.
You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.
If you love what you do you’ll never work another day in your life.
The best angle from which to approach any problem is the try-angle.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Common sense is not that common.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays, it insists on it.
If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be discarded.
Observation: It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
Observation: I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
Observation: The user does not know what he wants until he sees what he gets.
Observation: Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
Observation: Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
Observation: When you are over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
Observation: A carelessly planned project will take three times longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project will take only twice as long.
Budgets help you worry before you spend money, as well as, afterward.