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Funny

Story Corner: Self Appraisal

1
5 years ago
by Gradly in ,

A little boy went into a store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits. The store owner observed and listened to the conversation.

The boy asked, “Madam, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?” The woman replied, “I already have someone to cut my lawn”.

“I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now.” replied the boy. The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn.

The little boy was even more perseverant and said, “I’ll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach, Florida.” Again the woman answered in the negative.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.

The store owner, who was listening to this conversation, walked over to the boy and said, “Son I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job.”

The little boy replied, “No thanks, I was just checking my performance on the job I already have. I am the one who is working for the lady I was talking to!”

Popularity: 5% [?]

Girls Types

0
5 years ago
by Gradly in

  • HARD-DISK Girls: She remembers everything, FOREVER
  • RAM Girls: She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off
  • WINDOWS Girls: Everyone knows that she can’t do a thing right, but no one can live without her
  • SCREENSAVER Girls: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun
  • INTERNET Girls: difficult to access
  • SERVER Girls: Always busy when you need her
  • MULTIMEDIA Girls: She makes horrible things look beautiful
  • CD-ROM Girls: she is always faster and faster
  • E-MAIL Girls: every ten things she says, eight are nonsense
  • VIRUS Girls: Also known as “WIFE”; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don’t try to uninstall her … you will lose everything

(MEN RIGHTS)

Popularity: 1% [?]

Children’s LAWS OF Ownership

0
5 years ago
by Gradly in

  • If I like it, it is mine.
  • If it’s in my hand, it’s mine.
  • If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
  • If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
  • If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
  • If I’m doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
  • If it looks just like mine, it’s mine.
  • If I think it’s mine, it’s mine.
  • If it’s yours and I steal it, it’s mine.
  • If I………………………!
     
    Oops, sorry! I’ve been reading Israeli Foreign Policy documents!

Popularity: 2% [?]

What Happens If…

2
5 years ago
by Gradly in ,

What happens if an insect falls in a cup of coffee ?!!

The British : will throw the cup into the street and leave the coffee shop for good.
The American : will get the insect out and drink the coffee. 
The Chinese : will eat the insect and drink the coffee.
The Israeli : will

  • Sell the coffee to the American and the insect to the Chinese.
  • Cry on all media channels that he feels insecure.
  • Accuse the Palestinians, Hizb Allah, Syria and Iran of using germ-weapons.
  • Keep on crying about anti-semitism and violations of human rights.
  • Ask the Palestinian President to stop planting insects in the cups of coffee.
  • Re-occupy the West Bank, and Gaza Strip.
  • Demolish houses, confiscate lands, cut water and electricity from Palestinian houses and randomly shoot them.
  • Ask the United States for urgent military support and a loan of one million dollars in order to buy a new cup of coffee.
  • Ask the United Nations to punish the coffee-shop owner by making him offer free coffee to him till the end of the century.
  • Last but not least, accuse the whole world to be standing still, not even sympathizing with the Israeli Nation.

Popularity: 1% [?]

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