Humor

Rick Baker created this portrait which shows what Popeye would look like as a real old man! This is awesome.

Popularity: 3% [?]

Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don’t really care for them.
4. Although they don’t really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.
7. Although the woman leaves them they still don’t learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.

Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just “an old rag”.
6. Although their clothes are always “just an old rag”, they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don’t believe you.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Murphy’s First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

Miller’s Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you’ll want to be doing something else.

Weiner’s Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.

Isaac’s Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is always hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

Lampner’s Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

Popularity: 9% [?]

• If your father is a poor man,
  It is your fate but,
  If your father-in-law is a poor man,
  it’s your stupidity.
• I was born intelligent – Education ruined me.
• Practice makes perfect…
  But nobody’s perfect…
  So why practice?
• If it’s true that we are here to help others,
  Then what exactly are the others here for?
• Since light travels faster than sound,
  People appear bright until you hear them speak.
• How come “abbreviated” is such a long word?
  Money is not everything.
  There’s Mastercard & Visa.
• One should love animals.
  They are so tasty.
• Behind every successful man, there is a woman
  And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
• Every man should marry.
  After all, happiness is not the only thing in Life.
• The wise never marry.
  And when they marry they become otherwise.
• Success is a relative term.
  It brings so many relatives.
• Never put off the work till tomorrow
  What you can put off today.
• “Your future depends on your dreams” So go to sleep
• There should be a better way to start a day Than waking up every morning
• “Hard work never killed anybody”
  But why take the risk
• “Work fascinates me”
  I can look at it for hours
• God made relatives;
  Thank God we can choose our friends.
• The more you learn, the more you know,
  The more you know, the more you forget
  The more you forget, the less you know
  So.. Why learn.
• A bus station is where a bus stops.
  A train station is where a train stops.
  On my desk, I have a work station…
  What more can I say !!

Popularity: 8% [?]