• The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
  • “I’m not scared of dying, And I just don’t want to!”
  • “It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility!”
  • I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
  • My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
  • I’ll be sober tomorrow but you’ll be ugly for the rest of your life.
  • I’m scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because everytime I fall in love … it never seems to last.
  • Normal people worry me.
  • I know a million ways to always pick the wrong thing to say.

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